Tomorrows Halloween!

Today was a good day. A bit manic but a good day. I only had to suck snot out of Sammy's nose three or four times and it was not much and still very clear so all is good. Still don't feel confident to venture out too far with him. I am going stir crazy! I don't suppose, this being my second blog, that I mentioned that Sammy has been sick for the past week, I have been sick for seemingly 3 weeks. I am pretty much better, Sammy still has a bit of a stuffy nose, especially at night. It was crazy at first though. His eyes were all red and leaking and he couldn't breath out of his nose. This was his first really bad cold (at 10 months). I figure were not doing to bad.

So what did a stay at home dad do today? Probably something very similar to other stay at home moms. The day begins by begin woken up by a little demonic monkey crawling all over me, slapping me, pulling my beard, and chattering "da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da" Then when my one eye opens I see him. He smiles and my whole being is filled with joy. This is the first thing I see int eh morning. My smiling happy son.

I put him in front of his toy shelf and put on Jack Johnson's Curious George soundtrack. We dance a little together.Then we move on to breakfast. Organic cheerios in some freshly pumped Mommy Milk (fresh being the night before).

The rest of the day is cleaning, playing, cleaning and playing. Its like a yin and yang. Pleasure and pain. When Mommy comes home Sammy nearly crawls out of his Onezy (sp?) trying to get to the door.

Tomorrow is Halloween and Sammy has a frog Onezee (sp? I'm trying here). I don't care what anyone says, Sammy and I are going door to door. He is way too young for candy but it seems to me that the experience of heading down the same road we walk down every day and adding an new experience, knocking on doors, will be terribly exciting for him. I wonder if he has even realized that there are people in those big brick and wooden boxes that line the street. He recognises our house, and his Great Mamma's house. But has he thought that people, other people, new and different, strange people, live in each and every one of those houses? Who knows? But it will be worth it just to give him the experience, as he has never had that particular one before.

In the first place

So here I am ten thousand years from where I thought I would ever be. I am a stay at home father. I am father to Sammy Garcia. I have had to ask myself in this quest, not who I am, but who I was. As things shifted so drastically. I knew without question who I had become. I am Sammy's father. But who had I been? Who was this person that had another path and another destination?

I have always desired to be a professional writer. Now I have the opportunity. But my goals, aspirations, desires, fantasies, have suddenly changed. I am still a writer, but not the beatnik, smoking, drinking, starving poet writer that I was. I am now a parent. The smoking and drinking are gone, the late nights and barfly days of my youth have morphed into changing diapers, making baby food, and spending hours on the floor. This is where the drum circles happen now.

Sammy is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. He is my inspiration. Thus, my writing will adjust accordingly. I am now a parenting journalist. I will report on the new and upcoming delights like teeth and learning to use a spoon. How to make good baby food, attachment style parenting cloth diapering and... Well, I will leave some for my articles.

My hope is that this will turn into somewhat of a career. Being a stay at home parent it is difficult to make money. Being a stay at home Dad is hard on the pride. This sense of pride that has been instilled in all young men of our culture. You must be the bread winner. Even though I feel the job that I am doing is the most important job of my life, I still have this tiny pinprick of discomfort, like the princess and the pea. So this will be another topic of interest for the blog.

But more important than all of this will be the star, Sammy. His milestones and moments of triumph will be posted here. This will be a place for Sammy and me.